If you aren't growing; you're dying
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About: Twenty-something.
Swedish in LA.
Graduate Student
Third Culture Kid now Adult
Bookworm & Foodie
Pedantic.
Quote whore.
Feminist.
Old Soul.
10 things I know to be true

I had my coffee black this morning

While following Sweden’s election results

Yesterday, I helped a girl who couldn’t write,

but she was willing to learn

I struggle with statistics

I am always and never home

I miss my parents

I feel so much older than almost twenty-two

And I never wait for anyone

But I will always wait for you

“If I should have a daughter…“Instead of “Mom”, she’s gonna call me “Point B.” Because that way, she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.”

She’s gonna learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder-woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself. Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried.

And “Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”

But I know that she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boats nearby, ‘cause there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.

You will put the “wind” in win some lose some, you will put the “star” in starting over and over, and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting I am pretty damn naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

“Baby,” I’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.”

Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.

Your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.” 

- Sarah Kay

“I act and react, and suddenly I wonder “Where is the girl that I was last year?..Two years ago?..What would she think of me now?” —Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals 

(Source: tarkovskologist, via seulmates)

LA Adventures continue

Flying to the Bay Area in an hour. Couldn’t find the parking structure I had pre-booked parking for. GPS told me I had arrived at my destination (a lie). Broke down briefly in a McDonalds parking lot before gathering my wits (and calling Derrick). Made it to the airport. Relief.

Went to my first ever tailgate and football game this weekend. (America looks good on me)

Yesterday was the first day that I took a deep breath of contentment in this equally amazing and frightening city. 

WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME THEY NEVER HEARD OF SAMUEL HUNTINGTON

socialsciencegradschool:

image

“No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen.”

Alan Watts - How To Melt Anxiety. 

Something I know but often forget.

(Source: blackened--lungs, via fuckyeahexistentialism)

“This is what I know:
A tree is still a tree even if it is burning.
God might not be real but also he might be, so, there’s that.
Faith cannot be a person.
Faith is often a person.
Everyone I’ve ever kissed has been a mistake, and I am okay with that.
My love is going to be a fist unclenching;
honey being poured over a sharpened spear so that they can taste me in the wound.
Gravel makes my skin look like a pathway.
When I fall, I pretend I’m coming home.
Bees are necessary.
I meant for this to be something more poetic, but it’s just a list of facts.
It is possible to love someone without losing yourself.
The ocean is still largely unexplored.
There is no way of proving that life
doesn’t exist on other planets and in other universes.
Hawaii is the only state in America that has its own language.
How beautiful it is, to belong to something
and still be your own.”
Caitlyn Siehl, A List of Facts Dressed up as a Poem (via alonesomes: indieless) … This, this, this.
(via live-to-the-point-of-tears)

(via live-to-the-point-of-tears)

How Birth Year Influences Political Views

(Source: azspot, via seriouslyamerica)

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